I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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