there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
