i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
