Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
