someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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