what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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