At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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