I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
