I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
