I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am available for nakedness
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
