So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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