I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its not stalking. its research.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
