I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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