Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
