Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
