dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
