Michael Bay diarrhea
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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