You don't have asthma, your pregnant
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
