im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
