Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
