why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
