I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
