So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
