Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
