I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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