so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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