i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
