you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
