i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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