I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
