I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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