Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
