Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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