You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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