I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
