new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
