I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
