JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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