I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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