That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I will pee on everything he values.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
