Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
