Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just forgot I was standing up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
