So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
