The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
