Fuck appropriateness.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
