Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
