HIV tests are more positive than that guy
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
