Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
