he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
