Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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