he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
