Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
